From Trauma to Treasure: The Art of Rewriting Your Story
Many years ago, I attended a personal development workshop. The facilitator was a young man who I would describe as earnest. I don’t remember most of the workshop except for this one thing that struck at the core of my beliefs. He claimed:
“Life is empty and meaningless.”
WHAT??
I immediately challenged him. How could life be empty and meaningless? If so, what the heck are we doing here? Then he explained something I would years later fully understand.
Several people could have the same experience, and each person will describe that experience differently. They will each take from it what most affects them filtered through the lens of their experience, beliefs and assumptions. They could create a trauma story or a resilience story. They may get stuck in negativity or see an opportunity.
What happens is what happens.
How we interpret the events of our lives creates the threads in our stories. Most of us will agree that some types of events are harmful, challenging, and traumatic. Yet how many stories have you heard or read about someone seeing a trauma as a turning point in their life where they discovered something powerful about themselves or their world or it inspired them to create a mission in their life.
In a conversation with a psychologist recently, she mentioned that part of healing trauma was a continuum from acceptance (it happened), then negotiation with the self about the meaning-making from that trauma, followed by a reframing that serves the person and allows them to continue without ignoring the feelings associated with the event. Not everyone can or will make that journey, and few will make it alone.
When I chose a publisher for The Shaman’s Wife, my memoir of my eight-year relationship with an Ecuadorian shaman, I was adamant that the publicity not focus on trauma. I had chosen to focus on the positive aspects and what I learned about myself in this personal story. I discovered I was more courageous, more resilient, and more soulful than I ever considered. I wanted to share that with my readers to inspire them to stand in their courage and strength to overcome the challenges they face.
I turned trauma into treasure.
As I look back on that workshop and recall how upset I was at the time, I notice that until then, I had not matured spiritually enough to understand what meaning-making is. I had not yet learned that my perspective could shift from a focus on something I didn’t want to the gifts within. I was not aware that life could hold so much more beyond the polarities we are taught to accept.
Now, I can see beauty in the storms. I’ve become comfortable with dark, rainy nights. I revel in swimming in the depths of the ocean. And I know nothing stays the same.
Behind every sunset, there will be a sunrise over the horizon.
I just need to wait a bit to enjoy it.
